I'm Renee: routine

Chaos Reigns

09:53

That's not entirely true. 3 days in and we seem to have fallen into a good little morning routine - for the time being (I'm not fool enough to believe it will last).

Our weekday routine has run a little like this for those interested:

I start work at 8am so I need to be out the door by 7:30am and with a toddler, a baby and a forgetful (okay, lets give it its real name, disorganised) husband to also get sorted and out the door each morning, my organisational Type A skills are in overdrive.

Every night I lay out the boys clothes for the following day, pack their bags for kindy/grammy/granny and prep what I can of their lunches.

I'm then up at 6am (while all 3 boys are asleep still), finish packing lunches, a quick tidy of the house then the boys wake at 6:30am and S does nappy changes (E is still in a nappy overnight only - we are toilet trained HOORAY) and brekky while I jump in the shower and get ready for work. We switch at 7am and while S showers, I supervise the end of brekky, grab something for myself and clean the boys up before having a quick play or story and I'm out the door leaving S to dress the boys and get them in the car at 8am.

(The Woolworths dominos help buy some peace in our house... until the baby dares to take one of big brother's favourite and stick it in his mouth and then there is shouts of 'NO Charley Bear, no no no bubba... MUMMMMMMMYYYY Charley is eating my dominos).

I finish at 3:30/4pm and collect the boys from wherever they are that day if not at our house with granny and we head home for a play in the yard - taking advantage of the last sunny afternoons before Winter weather kicks in and its dark early.

If the boys are happy playing, I leave them to it and get prepping on their dinner (or defrost one of their meals I pre-make) and aim to have them eating by 5:15pm at the latest - meal time goes to hell very quickly if I leave it too late and neither of them will end up eating.

Depending on their moods, its straight in the bath after dinner or I stretch them out till 5:45pm when Scott gets home and give him the pleasure of bath time while I clean up, pull out our dinner/ingredients and prep what I can if I haven't already, get the boys pjs, sleeping bag for C and sippy cup of milk for E. Once dressed, I feed C while we all watch some ABC Kids then Scott does teeth brushing and either puts C to bed or in the bouncer and finishes doing our dinner while I do story and settling with E.

We try to have them in bed by 7:15pm but C usually doesn't fall asleep until 8pm or if he drifts off earlier, has a cat nap then stays up till 8pm.

Once they are in dreamland, we get to eat dinner, debrief, watch some TV - we have netflix and I'm embarrassingly hooked on The Vampire Diaries - and then its rinse, recycle and repeat with me running around prepping clothes and bags for the following day.

Some of the things I have found helpful this week include my freezer stocked with toddler/baby friendly meals and snacks I can pull out for lunches and dinners. Having bags pre-packed and clothes laid out are also a huge timesaver but are there any working mums out there with tips or suggestions on what works for them?

baby on the way

A weekday in the life of ...

10:15

Having a 19 month old and two adults who work fulltime, routine and schedule are key to everyone's happiness. Even a few minutes off schedule can throw the start of our day into chaos and have S and I both heading to work stressed, bad tempered and exhausted before we even begin. I like to know other's routines as I'm constantly adjusting ours to maximise time spent with E and getting things done around the home so we all start our day well.

In only a few months we are going to have some very big changes to the current routine but for now, our Monday to Friday looks a little like this:

5:15-6:30am - E wakes up and if its before 6am we beg him to go back to sleep by putting him in our bed and snuggling him under the covers. Despite our tired eyes, its such a delightful way to start the day with E all cuddly, sleepy and very happy to see us. If its still before 6am and no sleep is coming, S being the best dad/husband ever, gets up with E, changes him and gives him a sippy of milk to drink while watching Waybaloos on ABCKids while I either get an extra half hour of sleep or jump up to shower, apply makeup and dress.

7am - S has usually prepped E's brekky so I fix mine quickly (this week its Sustain cereal and juice) and sit down with E to supervise him eating and to talk about his day/dreams etc. Es breakfast starts with a piece of fruit (pears, mango or kiwi this week) followed by toast/crumpet he picks at then a bowl of weet bix with mashed banana and full cream milk (with a half a losec tablet thrown in). S will use this time to have a coffee, eat a piece of toast and clean up the kitchen/do dishes apart from Thurs/Fri where we swap and I pack E's lunchbox for DC including cutting fruit/sandwich shapes while S does breakfast supervision.

7:30am - I clean E down from smeared weet bix and we head downstairs to play and dress him while S has a shower and gets ready for work. I put The Wiggles or a Playschool cd on and we dance while we put the washing out (if I was organised and set the timer the night before) and play in the playroom or in the yard then we choose an outfit for the day, change nappy and get dressed.

8:15am - depending on the day:

S's mum arrives to take E and I head off to work
S goes to work, I take E to my mums and then head to work
E & S head to swimming and I go to work
I take E to daycare before going to work and S goes straight to work x2

This is obviously based on a good day where all goes to plan but if E sleeps in past 6:30am, it can throw the whole morning out, especially if we're lazy and don't get up anyway to shower and prep ourselves.

Scott is home Monday Tuesday and otherwise finishes work at 5:30pm or a little after whereas my finish times are a little more flexible and almost always before or on 5pm so the afternoons and early evenings start and then go like this apart from Mondays when I get home and we head to my inlaws for dinner and to pick up E:

4:30/5:15pm - I pick E up from my parents or daycare and we arrive home.

5:15/5:30pm - cook, warm or prep E's dinner. I pull out whatever meat portion or meal he is having for dinner in the morning to defrost in the freezer so its usually just a matter of cooking/warming that and adding it to his steamed veg then we sit at the table while he eats and talk about his day. We always finish with fresh fruit, frozen berries or yoghurt (spiked with losec) for dessert.

6pm - Scott gets home and takes E for his bath or shower while I clean up E's dinner mess and try and prep what I can for our dinner. Bath and shower time involve lots of noise and splashing of course then we all play on the 'big bed', dry E off and put pajamas on.

6:30pm - E watches In the Night Garden with his sippy cup of milk while sitting on my lap or pottering around the lounge room reading his stories. At the end of the show we say goodnight to all the characters, take E to brush his teeth and rinse his mouth then he gives S or I goodnight kisses and cuddles, says goodnight to the trampoline and the bats (don't ask) and then S or I read him a story, put on his Tomy lullaby star projector and lay with him till he falls asleep which normally takes 10-20 minutes.

7:15pm - S or I (whoever is not on bedtime duty) prepare and cook dinner so we can eat once E is asleep then its clean up the lounge room toys followed by mostly couchtime watching tv, catching up on each other's day and tidying the kitchen before bed by 10pm. Sometimes (not lately) if I'm energetic, I will bake something for the week and I try to set the washing machine for an early morning wash load to peg out.

That's a typical weekday in our house and there are some times S will have a soccer game once a week or an afterwork job to go to or I will have plans to catch up with a girlfriend so by the time E is down on those nights, whoever is home is ready for bed too having done the nighttime routine single handedly.

bedtime

Night weaning

20:53

At 14 months Ethan had never slept through the night. Yep, that's right, not one single night since birth. He has always had a strict bedtime set by him ... He likes to be in bed settling by 6;30pm like clockwork and most mornings he is up around 6am on average with a few 5am and 7ams to keep us on our toes. The longest I think he has ever slept since birth is a 5 hour nighttime stretch. ONCE.

Scott and I have coped admirably on little sleep I think but it hasn't been without its dark days. During some periods, Ethan would wake every 3 hours but at its worst, it could be every 45 minutes and the only way to settle him was nursing. Scott would try so hard to resettle him but after 30 mins of hysterics, it was left to me to nurse him back to sleep. Some weeks we would laugh and convince each other it could only get better, other weeks we resented, snapped and fought with each other. I read a million books from The Gift of Sleep, Save our Sleep, Sleeping Like a Baby and every other expert in between but none felt right for us and S wasn't onboard with anything that had a resemblance to CIO or CC.

At around 7/8 months, we started doing the one thing we swore we wouldn't. We started co-sleeping. I knew the risks and was always anti but motherhood quickly taught me that the only right way is to do what works for your family and with both of us working full time, we needed sleep. Instantly E started sleeping better with more of the 3 hour stretches and we happily settled into a routine. We still had nights with hourly wake ups but resettling was so much easier until we reached 14 months and I hit my lowest point. E wanted to feed or comfort suck the entire night without pause and I just couldn't cope on no sleep with no end in sight. We read Sears and Sears and for the first time, we were both onboard. We tried moving him to a single mattress in our room and although he went down on it ok, the wake ups continued.

I sobbed during what I had previously treasured with my son and I cringed at his touch, dreading night times and bed more than anything. Scott was upset seeing me this way but I insisted on soldiering through, wanting only what I thought was best for our boy. Finally at 2am after listening to me sob for the 5th night in a row, he threw me out of bed and sent me packing to our guest room downstairs ... Where I sobbed some more about my failings as a mother. The next day, Scott and I talked it over and agreed we couldn't go on as things were and needed to find a solution. Sears x2 offered several solutions for our demanding boy and we realised for us, it was best to take me out of the equation full stop by sleeping in the spare room while Scott tackled the settling.

The first night and the few that followed involved a lot of tears and exercise in self control ... It took all I had to block out the screaming protests, stay downstairs and let S tend to Ethan. The first few nights had 2/3 wake ups and each took about 30-40 minutes of settling. Scott told me that during those nights, he would have to wake up E up by taking him to the lounge and offering him milk then water in order to calm him and he would settle easier. After a week of this, the wake ups became 1 only and the resettling was just a matter of S giving E a quick pat and he would be back asleep in 5 minutes with no tears. A few weeks on and this is now the norm with even a couple of SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHTS! Yes, we are excited about those. His bedtime remains 6:30pm and his wake ups are still varied but the consistent uninterrupted hours of sleep are doing us all the world of good, him included.

I haven't been well recently so I'm still sleeping in the guest room while we ensure this becomes routine to E. We have also decided to keep E on the mattress in our room until we move (we will hopefully find the right house to buy soon) and then we will put him in a bed in his own room. No point messing with what is working right now and for now, we are happy with the progress and where we are from where we were.

For those out there with frequent wakers and catnappers, trust your instincts and go with what works for your family. As we have just learnt, even the worst sleepers can learn and improve so there is always hope. We found it difficult to upset E so much by night weaning but this was the best approach for our family as a whole and we supported each other through it, not deviating from the plan and confusing E.

Chaos Reigns

A weekday in the life of ...

Night weaning

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