Stats & clothes: 

''Reasons my child is crying' only a few weeks ago could be related to any or all of the following reasons:

• his sippy cup was empty
• there were dried apricots in his sultanas
• his daddy looked at him
• I picked up the wrong bedtime story to read
• I opened his cheese stick at the wrong end
• I wouldn't let him throw his toys down the stairs
• I wouldn't let him dance on the laptop

Most of the worst tantrums come from frustration I find - in trying to make himself understood or trying to do something, E would become frustrated and upset and then the tantrums would start because I either couldn't understand what he was telling/asking me or because he wanted to do something himself, not with my help. In these instances, I have found the best approach to diffusing or minimising fallout is by acknowledging how upsetting it must be for him through talking calmly about it and even apologising for not understanding him, keeping it light and relaxed by sitting at his level with my arms open and out to him so that he can come to them when he is ready.

Other times when the tantrum was/is because he doesn't get his own way or puts him at risk, rather than become infuriated, I crouch down to him and try to talk him through it and explain why he can't have/do etc. I use a short brief sentence and also act it out a little like patting my head if its because he will fall down and then I ask him for a cuddle and sit with him till he is ready.

For parents, there is nothing worse than that feeling of guilt that comes if you happen to lose your temper at your child by raising your voice. So in the case of toddler tantrums and meltdowns, I think the key is before you get exasperated at another 'performance', you need to talk yourself down from your own mini-tantrum and recognise that their little brains are so overloaded at that moment and they have no idea how to regulate emotions or handle what they are feeling. Adding to that confusion won't help anyone so the best thing to do for them and for you is to try and diffuse the situation by giving them a safe place to let it out and calm them down.

For me, understanding that E is at a process of learning his emotions and how to regulate them and is so overloaded with thoughts and new experiences, it became easier to cope with the tantrums by realising that this was the time he needed me most to supply a safe harbour and anchor for him to have these outbursts of emotion.

I think another contributor often overlooked in the reason for tantrums is the environment or surroundings. Its not fair to expect a toddler to sit still for hours at a time in a pram or a trolley or at a table. They are children and they want to run and play and explore so to confine them for long periods and suppress their natural urges is only going to lead to belligerence, tears and poor cooperation because they are bored and feel punished.

If I go to the shops with E for example, I have a plan of attack that usually involves visiting the main shop I need first then a milkshake break followed by one or two more stores, a run around the shopping centre playground, one more store and then home. I try and ensure its a fun experience for him rather than having to sit quietly in his pram indefinitely while I browse as that's just not fair.

Its all about balance I guess and realising that they don't act up or have tantrums just to be brats or make our life hard. There is always a reason for their behaviour, even if it seems like a silly reason to us and a little patience and understanding will go a long way to making for a happier mummy and toddler.

Of course I'm no expert, just a mumma with a tantrum throwing toddler and this is what works for us.

An update in my series to prove bloggers, instagrammers, facebook users, tweeters ... have less than perfect lives despite accusations of only sharing the perfect moments of their lives. Here goes with my ongoing confessions to a not so perfect life:

I take a longer shower than necessary some mornings just to stretch out the blissful 5 minutes when I don't have to think, when no one is talking to me, needing something from me.

I hate bananas ... and that goes for anything remotely banana flavoured, scented or even if its smuggled into the ingredients of a tropical juice ... but I acknowledge they are good for you and because E takes his cues from me and my reactions, I have had to choke down banana, hold it in my cheek and spit it out when E is not looking (shudder).

We don't eat potatoes in our house ... in fact we don't even keep potatoes in our house. Its not a health or diet thing, we both love potato in every which way they come but I just have a huge aversion (that has always been) about prepping potato. They just seem like so much work with the washing, peeling, cutting, steaming/boiling then there is the mashing/roasting etc. Too much work, too time consuming, I'm happy to just do without.

On the subject of vegetables and preparation, my sister tells me I also need to admit that I don't peel my carrots for cooking. I wash them but no peeling. I hadn't realised this was a sin and always thought the goodness was in the skin of vegetables? As I told her, if carrots now require peeling, I'll scratch them off my future grocery lists too.

I'm hopeless at looking after my nails. I have long natural nails but I never bother with shaping, filing or even polish. I trim them regularly and sometimes when I remember, I use Lush Lemony Flutter cuticle cream on them (at the traffic lights while driving to work).

I can't do my hair. As in I can't plait or do a proper blow dry or even style ... I don't even have a proper blow dryer, just a travel one that came with my GHD - that I rarely use. Lucky for me I was blessed with what friends call 'Hollywood' hair. I literally wash it twice a week, occasionally run the straightener through it (twice a month) and brush it when I remember but it stays shiny, dries straight/smooth and requires little else from me thank goodness.

I had every intention of baking something Valentines themed for E to take to kindy on the big day ... but he decided to take over an hour to get down the night before and by the time I was showered and had dinner, sleep was all I had the energy for.

Some days I can't wait to get out the door and go to work ... today was one of those days. I adore E and I love being his mumma but some mornings in Toddler Town just really suck it out of you and this morning we had breakfast refusal, at least 4 full blown tantrums and just lots of clingy whiny behaviour all before 8am so I was pretty happy to give my gorgeous little guy hugs and kisses and bolt out the front door when my mother in law arrived. Best part? E will have a wonderful day with his grandparents and I will return with lots of cuddles and more patience for him.

And just for fun... I can't whistle! I can make a whistling like sound by sucking air in but have never mastered actual whistling where you blow the air out and make a proper sound.

A new update in my series to prove bloggers, instagrammers, facebook users, tweeters ... have less than perfect lives despite accusations of only sharing the perfect moments of their lives. Here goes with my ongoing confessions to a not so perfect life:

This week one load of washing was 'washed' three times and 'rinsed' twice before it got hung out - in fairness 2 washes and a rinse were because S decided to be helpful and put my orangey red scarf in with the blacks. Cue red fibres on everything!

I have a pile of bedding (quilts, pillows, throws etc) sitting in our entry hall waiting to be vac-bagged and put away. I will get around to this one day... or maybe one week is more accurate.

I would happily eat mac & cheese every night because a) I like it, b) I couldn't be bothered thinking of what else to cook.

I gave E a cup of lite milk with his breakfast one day this week ... we ran out of the whole milk he normally has and I couldn't get to the shops till later.

I bought overripe bananas to bake with then forgot about them/never got around to it then insisted S use them and bake muffins while I was at work even though a) he has never EVER baked anything b) I didn't even have a recipe ... I told him to google. Luckily he humours me when pregnant and went ahead and baked banana sultana muffins - hooray, someone else in the house to make the sweets.

I pretend to pour drops of my drink (juice, soft drink etc) into E's cup to avoid tantrums.

I used pregnancy to get out of a dinner invite but insisted S go ... and I'm excited for a quiet night in and microwave popcorn for dinner ...once I get E down for bed of course.

I adore my boy and my husband more than anything and value every second I have with them but right now my idea of heaven is a weekend at a hotel on my own ... This may be because B2 and the soon to be realitity of two under two is getting closer and closer.

As I've posted before, bloggers, instagrammers, facebook users, tweeters ... are all accused of only sharing the perfect moments of their lives so here goes with my ongoing confessions to a not so perfect life:


Ethan watches TV ... 'watching' might be an exaggeration but he does like to have ABC Kids on in the morning for background and a little bit of In the Night Garden before bed.

I rely on baby food pouches when all else fails and E is refusing anything I put in front of him. He sucks those things down the way I enjoy(ed) a glass of wine after work.

You can often find E running around the playroom or yard 'nakey' or in just a nappy on a Saturday afternoon. Its hot, he's messy and I get sick of the washing.

My sheets have sat in the laundry all week waiting to be put through the wash. Lucky I have 5 sets... this may also be why I'm so slow to get around to washing them.

It took 2 days for the dishwasher to be unpacked this week. Lucky I have a lot of dinnerware and cutlery too.

I'm not above bribery ... if 'tanas (sultanas) get him to lay still for nappy changes then Ethan can have 'tanas to his heart's content.

I haven't flossed at all this week and have only washed my hair once.

I left my bins out after rubbish collection for 2 days ... well actually, I can blame Scott for this as its really his job to bring them in.

I look forward to silence in the car on the way to work some mornings and press ignore if anyone calls me some days. Sometimes its the only peace I get for the week.

I have feigned an 'important' task (think bathroom stop, phone call ...) to avoid changing E's dirty nappy when S is around. I don't do this often but just admitting I have done it - only when S is around and its still changed straight away.

We eat frozen veggies for dinner as much as we eat fresh ... those Heinz microwave steamer bags just make life far too easy.

I ate 2 Twix ice cream bars for dessert last night and KFC for lunch yesterday.

It took me 6 weeks to remove and repaint my toenails - I just kept painting over as 'touch-ups' during that time.

I have sat on the floor and cried while he is crying ... sometimes those tantrums all get too much and push me to my limits as well. Tears are cleansing and cathartic.

I am THAT mum that has to check on Ethan regularly while he sleeps to make sure he is still breathing. I have been known to even give him a little poke to be sure ... thankfully I think I've only woken him twice maybe.

I watched this season of Big Brother (and I was sad Tahan didn't win). I love some reality trash and since we cancelled our Foxtel (soon to be reinstated through TBox), free to air reality was my only option.


That's just a few  in the interests of 'keeping it real'.

Our daycare drop offs are hideous heart wrenching events that I have come to dread each week.

E goes to kindy on Fridays and no matter how well he slept, how happy his morning was or who drops him off, he shrieks like a banshee complete with tears when its drop off time. He used to be happy enough on arrival, only getting upset when I actually left - and I always say goodbye with hugs and kisses as I've never been comfortable with sneaking out while he's not looking.

Progressively the tears have been starting earlier and earlier with walking in the door, getting out of the car then it became turning into the carpark (he's a clever cookie) and just last week, it was at the roundabout 300m down from the centre!

Now I should explain, he actually has a great day at kindy once he settles down. The teachers in his room are so wonderful and he loves the socialising, playing outside, singing, baking and snack times, and he even sleeps for 90 minutes but those drop offs just seem to get worse and worse.

Its such an awful start to my day, driving away with his tear stained face in my mind and his screaming in my ears. I usually have to give my sister or mum a call to confirm its okay and it leaves me feeling sad until I or my mum pick him up, he's all smiles and we hear that he had a wonderful day.

I hear its just a phase and they get past it plus I know going only one day a week probably makes his adjustment a little harder - hopefully we can get an extra day next year. Does your little one do this for drop off? When did it start and when did it finish? Any tips for coping and preparing?

We start the morning talking about daycare, his teachers and the children in his class, I pack a fun and yummy lunch for him that I know he enjoys because he gets excited to see his lunchbox ... anything else I can do?