With your big brother and I both being snotty and having a 'naughty cough', I figured it was inevitable that you too would experience a bit of a cold. You had been a bit snuffly early in the week so I had the vaporizer going all the time, used the Little Fess aspirator regularly and covered you in Euky Bear rub. On Wednesday you showed real signs of deteriorating with a horrible cough, very lethargic and refusal to feed. I monitored you closely and by afternoon you started doing a panting type breath so Grammy and I agreed it was best to get you straight to hospital.

Of course I burst into tears at the triage desk trying to give a history but the staff were very reassuring and moved you straight into children's emergency. The response from doctors and staff once admitted told me you were in a very serious condition and they all worked quickly to get mobile chest x-rays, your vital stars, oxygen hooked up and a line in. The line in proved near impossible with your tiny veins and they ended up having to shave a patch of hair and insert one into your head after arms, hands and feet had all been tried. They wanted a second line and tried an 'IO' into your shin but that too failed and they settled for one to start fluids and antibiotics immediately. 

You were so weak and lethargic but still let them know how put out and unimpressed you were with all the poking and prodding. I on the other hand stood sobbing with terror, guilt and the pain of seeing you so sick and going through the procedures. 

Once the preventative treatments had been attended to, you were moved the the Children's Critucal Unit in ICU for around the clock monitoring. It was a frightening night for me with noises, machines beeping and my mind wandering but you seemed to use the dark to rest and recover while the machines worked to help you. 

Once morning came, the doctors filled me in on the days plan to test you for a range of infections including a lumbar puncture for meningitis. I was also warned if breathing didn't stabilize, they would need to intubate and ventilate you so your body could rest and heal. I held your hand while The doctors attempted mid morning to get another line in but with only a few options after the night before, they weren't successful. They also attempted to get a clean bladder sample but you were still too dry. I was then instructed to leave while they did the lumbar puncture and so returned to hear it was a success with you not experiencing too much discomfort and cooperating well.

You slept and were settled for much of the afternoon although quite congested and requiring a lot of suctioning but come evening, there was hell to pay as the 10ml an hour of EBM wasn't cutting it and you were starving. The doctor approved trying you on a regular feed and it was decided a bottle ebm would be best as it would require less effort from you and we could know exactly how much you had. Well, you swallowed 30ml in a few gulps and screamed blue murder for more. After an hour of trying to calm and settle you, they gave up and allowed you another 50mls that you gulped. You slept well after that and we were allowed to give you another 80ml before bed. In the midnight hours I woke to you crying out and was told be the nurse you had been ok'd to breast feed. You loved that first feed as much as I did and have barely stopped since but I think we are both enjoying the comfort and closeness plus it's very likely one of the things that will help get you back to strength. 

After being prodded and poked for every kind of sample (thorough doctors!), Your test results finally came back showing you were suffering from RSV. A common enough illness but potentially life threatening to little babies like you with a ten day span that peaks around 3/4 days. The good news is, you're made of pretty tough stuff and have all the markings of a fighter ... Since that first feed, you have continued to go from strength to strength and the doctors are very impressed by your recovery.

We have been transferred to the children's ward now and I type this as I watch you sleep peacefully and comfortably. The doctors have warned us you have a few more days ahead that may see a need to head back to ICU to support your breathing but overall, the outlook is excellent for a full recovery. 

I haven't stopped praying from the moment we got to hospital and I continue to thank God for watching over you while the medical staff are taking care of you. I'm so very proud of you Charley Bear for your incredible strength and am so very blessed you are my baby.