They never said it would be easy...


but they never said it would be so hard either.

I realise that I am so very very lucky to be married to the man I love, mother to our perfect little boy, have a job I enjoy and the blessing of another baby to come. I am grateful for every single part of my life but being a wife, a mother, pregnant and working full time is exhausting and you know what? Sometimes it is just so damn hard. Some days I'd love to bury under the covers and skip the day altogether. Its hard to keep all the balls in the air and every now and then, one slips and you have to start juggling all over again.

Things didn't really change for us after Scott and I got married. We were already living together and life continued just as it had before our wedding so we were not at all prepared for the enormous changes that pregnancy and then parenthood brought to our lives. Sure we expected a shift and we were even happy about that but we weren't at all prepared to be 'dropped' by friends of many years and we weren't prepared for dealing with a baby with silent reflux (and now a toddler with silent reflux). We were prepared for lack of sleep (although maybe not to the extent of our reality) and the shift in our relationship and its focus but it hasn't been without its struggles.

Its almost the end of 2013 and of course the end of the year brings about reflection of what has passed. Its been a big year for us, as have the two before it and I could never have dreamed the highs and lows if I tried. Here is some of my year in review (not in any order):

* We welcomed the most precious little girl to start 2013 - our 3rd niece, the gorgeous Lillee.
* We had to deal with some health scares for me and for Ethan that thankfully have all been managed and treated. Sadly though, Ethan is still requiring medication for his silent reflux as its just too severe even now to continue without but we continue to hope its something he will outgrow.
* Our baby boy turned 1! Who knows where the time went and how my baby became a toddler but he is very definitely not a baby anymore and that's okay because he is the most delightful little guy around.
* I suffered the indignity of another Blues loss... if I'm honest, I barely watch SOO anymore and go for the socialising now.
* We said goodbye to some friendships that if we were honest, were really over in 2012. There have been more than a few tears shed at my end and its still a little raw but I'm looking forward to moving on in the New Year.
* We celebrated my father receiving a well-deserved Order of Australia Medal.
* We endured over a year of a baby who thrived of minimal sleep and fought weaning with his considerable will to enjoy a boy who now sleeps through the night at long last (touch wood) and loves his sippy of milk.
* I survived the Federal election complete with hours of volunteering and a 3am start on the big day to celebrate a Coalition win!
* Our boy started daycare and with it we experienced our first true bout of separation anxiety that is just fading now.
* I shared some special occasions with my two favourite women, my mum and my sister including seeing Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with them both and The Script concert with just my sister.
* We rekindled some old friendships and made some wonderful new ones that bring us a lot of joy and happiness. I'm also lucky enough to be a part of the most amazing 'mothers group' who give me their support and unstinting friendship always.
* We celebrated the lives of some treasured people who will forever be in our hearts and memories.
* I started a new career after 15 years in the real estate industry and its turned out to be the best possible change I could imagine complete with a supportive and hardworking boss who is a pleasure to work with.
* After some initial shock, we celebrate an unexpected pregnancy and now await the big arrival of B2 in 2014.

Pregnancy the second time around with a toddler underfoot has been a little hard on me and I've been constantly tired, often nauseous and not much help to Scott lately who has been picking up the slack with cooking, getting up with E at 5am and keeping the house. As a result, we are both snappy and tired so Christmas this year can't come fast enough with the much needed break it brings, a blessing for us. Two weeks together doing nothing but relaxing and having fun is just what we need to welcome in the New Year and all 2014 holds in store for us.

At the end of the day, life is hard but you know what? The highs, lows, losses and gains .... Its all worth it.

How was your 2013?

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  1. What a huge year you have had and the next one is only set to be bigger. Pregnancy, working and mothering... A combination guaranteed to push everyone to the limit. I struggled with it too, forget dropping the balls: there were times I wanted to throw them at someone's head.

    1. Tell me about it Kacie ... There are a few people in particular I'd like to hit with those balls! Good at least to have this outlet for release and also to know I'm not the only one ;) x


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