A son


A repost from my old blog but I really want it on here too so apologies for those who have read it already...

Its so taboo to say you would prefer a daughter or a son whilst pregnant ... like you're ungrateful or will love a child less because its not the preferred sex. I think it's sad we're not allowed to talk about it. Ultimately, all any parent wants is a healthy baby but it seems human nature for a mother to desperately want a daughter - all those years of dolls and dress ups - and a father to want a mini-me son to kick a ball with. 

Then there is the 'A son is a son till he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life.'

I won't lie, I hoped for a daughter in those early days of pregnancy... a little baby I could dress up in pink and frills, a little girl I could have high tea with and a young lady who would grow into a woman and a friend. I have lots of friends with little girls, I was a little girl once upon a time so I know what to do with them and how to play. Scott of course hoped for a boy... a little mate, a mini-me to play sports with and do 'boy' things with. But notice my choice of word, HOPED... because no matter what, we were both happy with a boy or a girl and truly, all we wanted was a healthy baby like every other parent.

We found out that we were having a boy at 20 weeks and I was completely unprepared for the excitement that came over me for the totally new adventure ahead. Apart from my not so younger brothers, little little boys were relatively foreign to me in that a few friends have them but we don't spend a lot of time with them so having a son myself was a whole new ball game. I worried then (and still do), how would I play with a little boy ... I don't know how to play cars or trains, I'm not especially athletic and I don't really like getting dirty if I can help it.

Now of course I knew the stereotypes about Daddy's girls (I still am one) and the special mother/son relationship but absolutely nothing could have prepared me for the moment I met my son. When they laid him on my chest and he looked up at me with such a piercing stare, it was like he saw my soul and he became forever imprinted on my heart (I'm just about in tears remembering this). The World literally stopped turning at that moment and I realised he knew me as I knew him and no matter what I did or didn't know about little boys, I would be his mummy and he would teach me as he learnt how to play cars and trains, how to kick a ball and that I would clean him up after he gets us both dirty.

Ethan adores his daddy and Scott in return adores him but that special bond my little guy and I share is something magical I could never have envisaged in any dream.  

"You'll be his first kiss,
his first love,
his first friend.
You are his momma
and he is your whole world.

He is your little boy."

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